Capri pants

When I started contemplating the dog days of summer in the waning weeks of May, I decided to take a sartorial leap and order some capri pants. By June 1 it was already in the high 80's here, with the renowned southeastern humidity starting to make an appearance. Something had to be done - and since I had given up wearing shorts when I left my 30's (I considered it a public service), there had to be a better option than khakis and sweating.

Now, I'm fully aware that there are few more unfortunate clothing choices for a Woman of a Certain Size than capris. No garment ever designed is better at making a person with an average inseam look like she has the leg length of E.T. And if you have fat calves -- hey, let's stop that hem right where it will draw attention to those chubbies. But, as I pulled on the first pair today and a breeze wafted by my ankles I was willing to overlook those facts.

I'm not going to wear them out in public, for heaven's sake. But I may use some fake-tanning cream. Man, those are some white shins!